Insomniating Depression????

OKAY OKAY... It's a word I've just made up... but I'm sure it should be a label/diagnosis, If you have insomnia I dont know how you couldnt be depressed, and if your depressed that alone will create insomnia let alone the miriad of meds you get thrown onto...
I have never been a good sleeper, but I've always been GREAT at laying in bed for all hours. well actualy I've recently learnt that when ppl say "it takes time and you have to accept that, before things will start to get better" it really is true. I have beaten myself up all my life because I have found it so hard to sleep but over the last yr or so I've been saying to myself "if you really feel like you need to lay down, do it and do it without guilt" and it has taken time but I just repeated it to myself (and still do to a point) over and over and eventualy it seemed to have sunk in, and now I hardly go for lay down during the day at all, I think the guilt of having depression and letting everyone around you down is enough to make a person want to just go back to bed, but if you do go back to bed dont do it with guilt...
Mostly I dont sleep at night then I'm so exausted during the day, that I lay in bed all day, I have had lots and lots of advice from ppl as to how to help me sleep at night but I've come to realise I needed to work out why I couldnt sleep at night. Firstly, because of all the abuse I was scared to be in my own bed, my imaginatioin would run riot and I would see ppl peeking around the corner of my door, also all of my life I have slept with a sheet, blanket and two quilts over me, I think this has been mainly to try and protect myself, I had to slowly learn to sleep with less and less blankets, so I gradualy got down to being naked under my blankets then slowly took off one blanket at a time and now if I so desiered I could sleep naked on my bed with just a blanket over my hips (awful thought I know). Also I couldnt even poke my knee off the side of the bed, I'm still working on this one but I know I'll get there if I use my old theory of do it when 'I feel ready. Slowly but surely I know I will get there and then I shall evolve into whats commonly know as "normal"...
I still cant sleep in the house if my kids are at their dads, so usualy I will just stay up all night, coz they are only over there for one night a fortnight most of the time, but I have started to train myself in this as well...

I think I will always be a horrible sleeper but it CAN get better, maybe not perfect, but better...